The Four SOF Existential Spaces Model

In the landscape of human interaction, presence is not a static destination but a dynamic regulatory capacity, a living movement between connection and disconnection, between the private interior and the shared horizon. Social Oriented Focusing (SOF) offers a unique methodology that shifts the focus from cognitive narrative, the "story" of why we are, to the embodied felt sense, the "living reorganization" of how we are. Through two foundational models, SOF provides a compass and a map together with a practice for cultivating relational depth and transpersonal connection that enables us to navigate authentically in interpersonal spaces.

Model 1: The SOF Spaces Model

The Expansion of Presence The Spaces Model describes the progressive and natural unfolding of being. It illustrates how attention can intentionally expand from inward awareness toward mutual resonance and beyond, all while maintaining a vital inner anchoring.

1. I-Space: The Foundation of Being  Presence begins with "I am here". In the I Space, attention is anchored in the personal felt sense and inner bodily awareness. It is the practice of turning inward to sense the grounded reality of one’s own existence. This self-connection is not isolation; it is the essential foundation upon which all other spaces are built.

·         “I am with myself, grounded, sensing, and aware”.

2. We-Space: The Shared Relational Field  As awareness widens, it moves from the individual to the shared relational field. Expanding awareness to the shared relational field is not merely sensing the "other," but sensing the "us". In this We Space, I am in the shared field of Us feeling the presence of the other - the living, resonant space of connection that emerges between two beings. It is a field greater than the self that nevertheless includes the self, characterized by resonance.

·         "I am in the shared field of Us feeling the presence of the other." 3. I & We-Space: The Art of Relational Sovereignty  This is the space of mature connection, where self-connection and togetherness co-exist in harmony. In the I & We-Space, one remains rooted in their own felt sense while being fully open and responsive to the shared field. It is the delicate balance of being distinct yet profoundly connected, allowing for true mutuality and relational sovereignty. "I am with myself and with you – simultaneously." 4. I & We & Beyond-Space: The Transpersonal Opening  The final expansion reaches toward the transpersonal or collective dimension - an opening into that which holds and moves through both self and relationship. In the I & We & Beyond-Space, we engage in a conscious choice to expand our consciousness and felt sensing, recognizing ourselves as part of a whole that is significantly greater than our individual selves. We do not leave the body or the relationship; instead, we remain grounded in ourselves and present to the other while simultaneously opening to a larger field of intelligence, meaning, or creative emergence. This is a dimension we allow and attune to through the maturation of presence. “I am present to myself, to you, and to something greater that includes and holds us both”.